Seven Years

Seven years ago was the date that I'll always remember, the day I turned my life over to Christ. In a lot of ways I had been a believer for years, but this was the day that I finally laid it all down to follow Him. It's been a daily battle ever since, but there were some major things that I was holding on to, until Jesus interrupted my world in a big way.

Many people who have known me over this span of time have either seen my story play out, or could at least tell you some interesting stories about the person I used to be. Let me add a disclaimer in that I've done really snotty, evil, selfish, sinful things since that time, its just a matter of knowing that its wrong, knowing that I can only change through Christ, and allowing Him to do some pretty massive housecleaning on a daily basis. So with that disclaimer, and a sincere apology for every word, action and thought that hasn't pointed to Jesus, I share some interesting tidbits of my testimony.

I have always gotten a kick out of it when people think of me as this strong 'Christian' girl, and have only known me for a few years. To my teammates, the 'Krueger' that didn't swear or drink, spent 'thirsty Thursdays' at Campus Crusade for Christ or Chi Alpha, and really liked to go to church on Sunday. They may have not known that I got Seventeen yellow cards my senior year of soccer for everything from intentionally hurting people to mouthing off to the ref, or that my sense of humor and big mouth often landed me a discussion in the hallway, and a nearly very serious suspension/threatened lawsuit in middle school. These are pretty tame in comparison to the things that were going on in my heart and mind, and the god that I was utterly in love with, Sports -and Guys who played Them. Both left me broken-hearted... Shocking.

I feel like my story is perfectly described in the lyrics of this song by Tenth Avenue North...

Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying, Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away.

Why are you looking for love,
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run.

I'll be by your side,
Wherever you fall,
In the dead of night,
Whenever you call,
And please don't fight,
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you.

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin,
So I could carry you in
And give you life.

He wants to Give us Life. In that moment that we all face of being utterly alone in the 'dead of night', realizing that there is only One who promises He will never leave. Only One who says he will love you if you are worth nothing in the eyes of the world. He had to watch and wait, asking for years 'To where will you go child? Tell me where will you run?' when all along he was the only one there, desperately wanting to give me life. I'll close with this Matthew West lyric that describes what I am utterly thankful for this day, seven years later, a beautiful Mess.

'I’m the one with big mistakes, Big regrets and bigger breaks, Than I'd ever care to confess. But, You’re the one who looks at me, And sees what I was meant to be, More than just a beautiful mess.'

He has come that we may have life, and have it to the full.
Hall-e-lu-jah.